3. Get A Second Opinion, ALWAYS…
I learnt a lot through this journey. I learnt that doctors don’t know everything. I learnt that doctors who are willing to listen and work with you are so important. I learnt that you need doctors who will advocate for you or you will need to advocate for yourself (and sometimes you may not be able to). These are my experiences…
Choosing My Surgeon. The first colorectal surgeon I met was very experienced and very detailed. He looked at all my reports. This was our conversation.
Surgeon: I think it may have spread to your ovaries. If that is the case, I will remove them during the surgery.
Me: But when will you know if it has spread or not?
Surgeon: During the surgery. I may ask your gynaecologist to be on standby. In any case, you don’t really need your ovaries at this age.
Me (thinking that is not the point): But that means I will go into menopause immediately.
Surgeon: There are lots of ways to deal with it but let me call your gynaecologist.
My gynaecologist, whom I have been with for 3 years, knows my body well. She said, No, I don’t agree. I have been seeing her for a while and I have not seen any signs of abnormalities in her ovaries. Send her back to me and I will refer her for an MRI scan immediately. MRI scan was clear. No spread. I am SO GRATEFUL I have a gynaecologist who advocated for me. I did not do my surgery with this surgeon.
My experience with my colorectal surgeon was completely different. From the moment I stepped into his clinic, he was positive, pragmatic and so reassuring. I fixed my surgery date on the spot.
Don’t stop searching until you find a doctor that you are comfortable with. Advocate for yourself.
Choosing My Oncologist. My biopsy results were out about 2 weeks after my surgery. My surgeon referred me to an oncologist. I went in to see her and duly signed up to start my chemo treatment.
Two weeks later, I went back to see my surgeon. He asked me how did the conversation go with the oncologist? I said, if you have patients who are a little older and fearful, please do not send them to her. She is very experienced but a little scary. He said, let me send you to another oncologist. I was tired of doctors at this point and really didn’t want to see another one. My surgeon said, you have to see the oncologist for at least 6 months. I don’t want you to be unhappy each time you have to see her. Please go meet this other oncologist.
I am SO GRATEFUL that he pushed me to see another oncologist. Find doctors who advocate FOR YOU!
Lessons Learnt:
Always get a second or third opinion. It is exhausting but so worth it when you find the right doctor.
Find a doctor who is willing to listen and work with you. You need to be comfortable with your doctor.
I am aware that I’m in a very privileged position, where I can afford to pay for private specialists, and not everyone can do that. But if you can, get a second opinion, especially for major operations and procedures. It is money well worth spending, even if all it does is give you additional reassurance.